Best Jokes

The test I gave my math class covered everything we'd studied all year -- fractions, percentages and portions of whole units.

But maybe I could have explained things better. To the question "What portion of a foot is six inches?"

One student answered, "The toes?"

If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":

1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. It's even funnier when they try to avoid stepping on you and fall into a counter or table.

2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

3. For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.

4. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper.

Joe: Hi, Mo. What have you been doing lately?

Mo: I went to a lecture about corn last night.

Joe: Was it interesting?

Mo: Yeah, I was all ears!