Best Jokes

Bobby: Grandpa, why doesn't Superman fight crime anymore?

Grandpa: Inflation.

Bobby: Why inflation?

Grandpa: He can't afford to leave all those clothes in phone booths.

Bobby: What's a phone booth?

Growing up as a kid, I learned all about capitalism through the board game Monopoly. I mean, what better way to teach a young mind the way our economy functions. I loved this game and still do.

Only now, as an adult I have some questions that remain unanswered.

For instance, if I have all this money and own all this real estate... why am I still driving around in a thimble?

If a man is bald in front, he's a thinker...

If he's bald in the back, he is a lover...

If he's bald in the front and back, he thinks he's a lover.

I was sending out a business email to several people and shortly thereafter my daughter, Margaret, sent back a message, “I think this was meant for a different Margaret.”

So I tried again, but didn’t realize my auto-fill kept adding daughter Margaret to the email, not the Margaret I was trying to email.

Another email from the daughter came: “You did it again. Wrong Margaret.”

I replied, “This is frustrating. There’s just one way to solve this. Daughter, you need to change your name.”