Best Jokes

My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; "Do you think there is too much sex in movies?"

"I don't know," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing."

I have a friend who made billions of dollars writing and selling Cliff Notes.

One day I asked him where he got the idea and he said, "Well, to make a long story short . . . "

What is in the middle of a jellyfish?

It's jelly button.

John left his twin twelve year old boys in the car while he went into a store. While there he spotted a vender selling ice cream cones. He bought one chocolate and one vanilla for the boys.

When he got back to the car he asked them which one they wanted. The boys looked at the ice cream cones for a few seconds trying to decide.

A sly grin came across one boys face. He pointed to his brother and said, "I want his!"