I’ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream...
I can’t wait to rub it in!
In an effort to compete with regional microchip production, the Mayor of St. Paul, MN decided to hold an economic luncheon event.
The caterer arrived with a full stock of mini apples and mini soda.
Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably.
When Ruth's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, "Oh no, oh no, now I can't be a doctor when I grow up."
Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn't.
Finally, she asked, "Why can't you be a doctor?"
Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, "Because now I will have to be a pirate!"