Best Jokes

To stop King Kong's rampage, the U.S. Army got their top strategists together and came up with a terrific plan.

They built a massive catapult engine, loaded a 1966 Volkswagen in it, and hurled the vehicle directly at the side of the giant ape's head.

In other words, they put a bug in his ear.

Patient: I keep dreaming about monkeys. Every night, nothing but monkeys, monkeys, monkeys.

Psychiatrist: How does that make you feel?

Patient: If you give me a banana, I'll tell you.

Two friends went for an interview for the same job. One was educated and the other wasn't, so they agreed to help each other.They agreed that the educated one would go first and when he was done, he would give the other the answers to all the questions. The first guy's interview started:

QN 1: "When was Tanzania's independence?"
GUY 1: "It was supposed to be 1960 but it was postponed to 1961 due to many reasons."

QN 2: "Who brought independence to Tanzania?"
GUY 1: "So many participated but it was Mwalimu Nyerere who finalized it."

QN 3: "It's believed that in planet Mars, there is life... is it true?"
GUY 1: "So many people say so, but it has not been scientifically proven."

When he left the interview room, he went straight to his uneducated friend and gave him all the answers. Second guy's interview also started:

QN 1: "When were you born?"
GUY 2: "It was supposed to be 1960 but it was postponed to 1961."

QN 2: "What!! Who is your father?"
GUY 2: "So many participated but it was Mr. Nyere who finalized it."

QN 3: "Oh My! Are u CRAZY???"
GUY 2: "So many say so but it has not been scientifically proven!"

If I don't participate in a boycott because I don't believe in boycotts, am I then actually boycotting a boycott?