Wife to husband: “Did you like supper?”
Trying to be polite, the husband says, “Yes.”
The wife says, “I was just wondering, because when I gave some to the cats they tried to bury it.”
"Quick! Call a tree surgeon!"
"Why?"
"My maple tree is bleeding!"
"That's not blood, that's sap."
"What's sap?"
"Nothing. What's sap with you?"
Why are Eskimos always interested in winter sports?
Because they are Inuit.
To stop King Kong's rampage, the U.S. Army got their top strategists together and came up with a terrific plan.
They built a massive catapult engine, loaded a 1966 Volkswagen in it, and hurled the vehicle directly at the side of the giant ape's head.
In other words, they put a bug in his ear.