Best Jokes

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

There I was totally naked.

Two hands running freely all over my body.

No area seemed OFF LIMITS but I wasn’t shy or embarrassed.

Yet I did not experience the euphoria one could imagine.

This was not the first time nor I expect will it be the last.

I waited patiently for any further sensations as these hands wandered seemingly with purpose yet resulting in no response from me.

So these so called hot steamy sessions are always flat.

Oh well! – I guess showering is like that! We'll see what happens tomorrow.

I've always been confused between the definition of right and wrong.

When I was a kid my parents would say, "Boy, you have done wrong."

I'd say, "Is that right?"

They would say, "Yes."

Well the last time I Tweeted, I was disqualified because Twitter said it was a chirp!