Best Jokes

When Fred went to his barber he expressed concern about going bald.

Fred: “Now that I’m getting older I’m worried about my hair falling out.”

Barber: “Men’s hair doesn’t ever fall out.”

Fred: “I’ve seen many balding older men.”

Barber: “When men get older their hair follicles get weak making the hair fall back inside their head.”

Fred: “That’s preposterous, do you have any proof?”

Barber: “Now that you’re older and thinning have noticed excess hair coming out your ears?”

Fred: “Yes, actually I have noticed that?”

Barber: “I rest my case.”

A man went to his lawyer and stated, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it."

The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me."

The man looked somewhat upset as he said, "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children, too!"

Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?

Doctor: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Lisa: Sardines have to be the stupidest fish in the world.

Meg: Why do you say that?

Lisa: They crawl into cans, lock themselves in, and then leave the key on the outside.