A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"
How do you know when you're getting old?
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep.
That's deep enough!
What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
Why don't bald men have keys?
It's because they don't have locks!