Best Jokes

Three students all have dinner together, a sophisticate, a vulgarian, and a foreigner. They return to their shared dorm rooms that night and when they wake up in the morning they all have painful gas. The sophisticate says,

"Zounds! I just broke wind with such intense vigor my anus hurt!"

The vulgarian says,

"Crap, dude! That fart hurt my butt-hole!"

The foreigner who would have understood,

"Wow, stinky pain!" tries to fit in by saying,

"Broke fart intense butt-hole!"

What did one Hot Dog Say to the other Hot Dog?

HI! Frank!

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

There I was totally naked.

Two hands running freely all over my body.

No area seemed OFF LIMITS but I wasn’t shy or embarrassed.

Yet I did not experience the euphoria one could imagine.

This was not the first time nor I expect will it be the last.

I waited patiently for any further sensations as these hands wandered seemingly with purpose yet resulting in no response from me.

So these so called hot steamy sessions are always flat.

Oh well! – I guess showering is like that! We'll see what happens tomorrow.