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Favorite this joke I get bitterly angry every time my cell phone dies...
My therapist suggested I need an outlet.
A handyman was working for a temple in Allentown, PA, had asked for a raise and was turned down. He decided to quit and went out to look for work.
First he went to a Catholic church and was told that in order to work there he would have to answer one question.
The priest asked, "Where was Jesus born?"
The man answered, "Pittsburgh," and was shown the door.
He then went to a Baptist church. The minister told him that in order to get a job there he would have to answer a question.
He was asked, "Where was Jesus born?"
The man answered, "Philadelphia."
He was dismissed.
Walking away, he encountered the rabbi who was looking for him. The rabbi exclaimed, "The board approved your raise. Please come back immediately."
The man said to the rabbi, "I will come back only if you answer a question. Where was Jesus born?
The rabbi says, "Bethlehem."
"HA!" cries the man. "I knew it was somewhere in Pennsylvania."
What is the opposite of stand up comedy?
A Sitcom.
Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?"
Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy."
Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."
Boy 2: "It will if it's your big brother's candy!"
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