Best Jokes

1 votes

Rules for villains:

Never leave 007 tied up alone; he’ll escape and mess everything up. Just trust me on that!
If you’re anywhere near the Daily Planet news agency and decide to rob a bank it’s imperative you hire people to use every phone booth in a ten block radius.

Villains, when you drive away from a hero chasing you (on foot) drive straight and step on it. If you make a turn you’ll hear a loud thump; that’s the hero jumping on your car. They know all the short cuts. If this happens slam on the breaks, don’t just weave back and forth or you’re duck soup.

Last but not least if you’re a villain in Gotham City blend in, don’t wear flashy distinctive clothing or make up especially improperly applied lip stick. If Super Hero’s don’t know who you are the chances are they’ll just look around and scratch their heads.

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
$10.00 won 1 votes

A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in preparation for
selling his land. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses
where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one
would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.

1 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Susan Paetznick" |
$5.00 won 1 votes

What's the difference between Big Ben and Tic Tok?

One tells time, the other wastes time.

1 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Bill Sauro" |
$6.00 won 1 votes

I wanted to come up with a "Joke of the day" about eggs.

So, I grabbed a carton of a dozen eggs, opened it and several were broken.

I guess the yoke is on me now.

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Mr" |