Best Jokes

The condemned man was waiting for his execution, when the priest arrived.

"My son, I came to bring the word of God to you."

"No thanks, Father. I'm going to talk to Him in a little while, personally. Any message?"

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing

APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

IBM = I Blame Microsoft

DEC = Do Expect Cuts

CA = Constant Acquisitions

CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.

SCSI = System Can't See It

DOS = Defunct Operating System

BASIC = Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

WWW = World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash; If Not, The OS Hangs

When Fred went to his barber he expressed concern about going bald.

Fred: “Now that I’m getting older I’m worried about my hair falling out.”

Barber: “Men’s hair doesn’t ever fall out.”

Fred: “I’ve seen many balding older men.”

Barber: “When men get older their hair follicles get weak making the hair fall back inside their head.”

Fred: “That’s preposterous, do you have any proof?”

Barber: “Now that you’re older and thinning have noticed excess hair coming out your ears?”

Fred: “Yes, actually I have noticed that?”

Barber: “I rest my case.”

Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?

Doctor: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.