On March 10, 1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the very first telephone call!
Two days later, an incoming call informed him that the extended warranty on his horse and buggy was expired.
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name.
So I called her Bluff.
Mr. Jones: Doc, I can't sleep.
Doctor: You used to count sheep and told me it worked. Any idea why the sheep counting method quit working?
Mr. Jones: When I count the sheep now they're shivering and it's upsetting.
Doctor: When did this problem start?
Mr. Jones: Right after I bought a very warm wool blanket.
I bought an alarm clock yesterday but I took it back today and asked for a refund, I said to the assistant, "It's not working properly, I set the alarm for 7:30am but it went off at 4:30am."
"I'd like to give you a refund sir, but it's smashed into pieces. How do you explain the damage?" he asked.
I said, "I just told you, it's not working properly and it went off at 4:30am."