Best Jokes

Scientist have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from earth's surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs... the tallest ones, anyway.

Question: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles?

Answer: Take off your glasses.

1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
2. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
3. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

4. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
5. Make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later start all over again.
6. To hang up more clothes buy bigger door knobs.

7. Sweep the room with a glance.
8. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
9. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby cre ating a romantic atmosphere.
10. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.