Best Jokes

So a duck walks into a bar and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?"

The bartender says, "No!".

The duck walks out, comes back the next day and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?"

The bartender says, "No!".

The duck walks out, comes back the next day and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?"

The bartender says, "No! And if you come back again I'll staple your beak to the bar".

The duck walks out, comes back the next day and asks the Bartender, "Got any staples?"

The bartender says, "No!".

"Got any gwapes"?

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!”

The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”

Where do you get dragon milk?

From cows with short legs!

The little boy was so excited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother.

He repeated that to his teacher every day, when he came to school, “I’m getting a brother.”

One day his mom allowed him to feel the baby’s kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didn’t say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happened to his brother.

He replied, “I think mommy ate him.”