Best Jokes

Why do chicken coups have only two doors?

Because if they had four doors, they would be a sedan!

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school.

He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, lieutenant?" I asked.

He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive."

I asked, "What's the difference?"

He replied, "That means I'm scared, but with a university education."

I was sitting at the counter of a restaurant when a gentleman sat in the seat beside me. I watched as he ordered a cup of coffee and put about fifteen spoonful's of sugar in it.

He took a sip without stirring it. I remarked, "You didn't stir your coffee."

He said, "I know, I don't like it sweet."

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Nobody can find it.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.