Best Jokes

Two aliens landed their spacecraft in a creek next to a rural farm. They disembarked the saucer, getting themselves soaked from the muddy water.

The first person the aliens saw was a ten year old boy fishing close by. The aliens said, "We want to see your leader but we don't know what to expect?"

The boy replied, "Well, I suspect you'll get grounded for two weeks for tracking mud in the house."

My aging father who definitely qualifies as your stereo typical “grumpy old man” hasn’t adjusted well to technology. Mistakenly I taught him how to send text messages.

After a week of pure mayhem and upsetting most every family member, he blames “auto correct” for putting words in his mouth. Apparently he doesn’t seem to understand that auto correct won’t fix an entire paragraph.

San Francisco ballet just announced that Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors will be appearing in their upcoming production of The Nutcracker.

There are two flies on the ceiling. One fly says to the other fly, "Don't look now, but your man's open!"