Best Jokes

The geologist's theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

One day at home the phone rings and Joe answers it. On the other end is a confused woman who asks, "Who is this?"

"This is Joe. With whom did you wish to speak with?"

After a pause the woman says, "Did you just say whom?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then you're definitely not my son!"

Two aliens landed their spacecraft in a creek next to a rural farm. They disembarked the saucer, getting themselves soaked from the muddy water.

The first person the aliens saw was a ten year old boy fishing close by. The aliens said, "We want to see your leader but we don't know what to expect?"

The boy replied, "Well, I suspect you'll get grounded for two weeks for tracking mud in the house."

My aging father who definitely qualifies as your stereo typical “grumpy old man” hasn’t adjusted well to technology. Mistakenly I taught him how to send text messages.

After a week of pure mayhem and upsetting most every family member, he blames “auto correct” for putting words in his mouth. Apparently he doesn’t seem to understand that auto correct won’t fix an entire paragraph.