Best Jokes

$6.00 won 1 votes

When two people love each other, nothing is impossible... Except deciding where to eat.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "ajokes" |
$5.00 won 1 votes

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.

A year passes and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.

The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces!

The emperor says, "That is very impressive!"

Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.

The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces!

The emperor says, "That is really impressive!"

Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Jewish samurai thinks, "If it works for the other two..."

So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH! A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around.

The emperor says in disappointment, "Why is the fly not dead?"

And the Jewish samurai replies, "Look closer, that fly has been circumcised!"

1 votes

posted by "Gaggs" |
1 votes

One evening, a family sat down for dinner. The mother served fish and cauliflower. They were all eating, until the boy, chewing on his fish, found a bone.

He pulled it out of his mouth and asked, “Mom, what do I do with this?”

“Put it where you’re sure you won’t eat it,” said his mother.

So the boy carefully stuck it into his cauliflower.

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "ERS" |
1 votes

I woke up in the hotel this morning and the housekeeper was banging on the door, just banging away.

Finally, I had to get up and let her out.

1 votes

posted by "DYGK" |