Best Jokes

I have to admit, I am a pretty smart guy. I know all the right answers!

Unfortunately, everyone asks me all the wrong questions.

There's this 'not-so-bright' young woman out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another woman on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"

The second woman looks up the river, then down the river, then shouts back, "You are on the other side."

My brother was sort of odd. I remember once on his birthday he fell down a dry well, so we lowered his birthday cake to him.

He didn't even tug on the rope to say thanks.

The first guy said, “My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house. It’s incredible.”

The second guy says, “That’s nothing. My wife thinks I’m God.”

“She thinks you’re God? What makes you say that?”

“Every night at dinner time, she places a burnt offering before me.”