Best Jokes

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring...

The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel I've dyed a little inside.

"Mary, if you were a four legged animal and you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?"

"I don't know," said Mary, "but whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark."

Definition of Myrrh...

Myrrh: i. a type of perfume or incense;
ii. the second gift of the Magi;
iii. a great scrabble word when you are out of vowels.

Some preteens were hanging out near the entrance to the local hardware store.
"Let's do something dangerous," said Billy.

"Like what?" asked Joey.

"See all those brooms hanging up in the window?" answered Billy. "I dare one of you to take one of those and run out of the store."

Freddy replied, "What would that prove, Billy?"

"How brave we are. It'll be just for fun. And we'll return it right away and apologize."

"Then why don't you do it? Just go in there and grab one of those short brooms," said Joey.

"Aw, I was just kidding, guys," replied Billy. "I'm not a whisk taker!"