Best Jokes

The definition of "mixed feelings" is watching your mother-in-law drive your new Mercedes off a cliff.

Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home."

Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again.

"Joel," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath."

"Don't worry," replied her husband. "If the neighbors do see you, they'll buy curtains."

A man was complaining that his wife refused to make his morning coffee.

She shrugged and said. "In the Bible, we are told the man is to make the coffee."

He stares at her for a moment before informing her that he had never heard such a passage.

She smiled, rose and retrieved her Bible from the living room. She leafed through it for a moment before laying it on the table in front of him.

He glanced at it and sighs, seeing that she opened the Bible to: "HEBREWS".

Suzy Lee fell in love. She planned to marry Joe. She was so happy about it all, she told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, "Suzie Gal" you'll have to find another. I'd just as soon yo maw don't know, but Joe is yo half-brother.

So Suzie forgot about her Joe and planned to marry Will.

But after telling pappy this, he said "There's trouble still." You can't marry Will, my gal and please don't tell yo mother, cause Will and Joe and several mo I know is yo half-brother."

But mama knew and said "Honey chile, do what makes yo happy. Marry Will or marry Joe, You ain't no kin to pappy!"