I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase. The clerk noticed that I had not signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.
Young Husband (in the early morning): "It must be time to get up."
Wife: "Why do you say that?"
Husband: "Baby's fallen asleep."
The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"
Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"
The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.
The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."
Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story.
After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!"