Best Jokes

There I was on a game show, and with just one more right answer I'll make a million dollars! But if I get it wrong I only get ten grand.

It was a pop culture question about a television stage name so I decided to go for it. After the game show host asked me the question I drew a blank. I thought to myself well, ten grand is better than nothing. So for my final answer I said, "It's all good man."

Suddenly confetti fell as the host announced, "You've won a million dollar, the answer is in fact Saul Goodman!"

What is a social drinker?

If someone says, "I'll have a beer please," a social drinker always replies, "Social I!”

I have a new job, telling people about the benefits of dried grapes...

I am raisin awareness!

Kathryn's 5-year-old developed a strong interest in spelling once she learned to spell STOP. After that, she tried to figure out her own words. From the back seat of the car she'd ask, "Mom, what does FGRPL spell?"

"Nothing," Kathryn said.

Sitting at breakfast she'd suddenly ask, "Mom, what does DOEB spell?"

"Nothing," Kathryn answered.

This went on for several weeks. Then one afternoon as they sat coloring in her room she asked, "Mom, what does LMDZ spell?"

Kathryn smiled at her and said, "Nothing, sweetheart."

The 5-year-old carefully set down her crayon, sighed and said, "Boy, there sure are a lot of ways to spell 'nothing'!"