Best Jokes

The journey of a thousand miles...

Begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

Nero was talking to his financial advisers in a Roman amphitheater.

"Why aren't we making any money from this building?" he said.

An advisor replied, "Because the lions are eating up all the prophets."

The teacher asks Suzy where her nose is, and Suzy points to it. Next, she asks Freddy where his ears are, and he points to them. Then she asked little johnny where his heart is, johnny points to his behind,

The teacher said, "No, that is not right. Let's try again. Where is your heart?"

Again, Johnny points to his behind and explains, "Every time my grandma comes over she give me a hug, pats my behind, and says 'Bless your heart.'"

In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to the living room and asked, "Does anyone want a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, please!" we said.

He replied, "What kind of coffee do you want? Capitated or decapitated?"