Best Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the "P" is silent.

A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a huff of anger.

"What's wrong, Shelly?" asks her roommate.

"Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn't even get into Mime class."

"Why not?"

"How should I know? You can't get a word out of those people!"

My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the gift list on a table and declared, "I think she's too young to get married."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Because," she said, "they registered for Nintendo games."

Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?"

The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."

"What do you call it?"

"We call it a football wedding."

The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"

The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"