Best Jokes
Favorite this joke I reluctantly went shopping with my wife so she could buy a new dress. She tried on several but they didn't fit.
As she came out of the fitting room totally frustrated she remarked, "Nothing my size fits me anymore."
Store keeper: Good morning Sir! How may I help you?
Customer: Why is this water bottle cost so much? It's $20 per liter!
Store Keeper: Sir, this is pure water from an ancient glacier of the Alps. That's why it is very costly.
Customer: Pure water from the Alps, huh? Then why is the date of expiration September 2017?
Donald: Hi, Daisy...
Daisy: Don’t talk to me! I’m so mad I can’t speak! I was driving on Oak Street and a policeman gave me a ticket for going the wrong way!
Donald: Sure, Oak’s a one way street. It’s against the law to drive north on Oak.
Daisy: That’s just the point! I wasn’t going north, I was going east!
"Suppose," says the old salt of a sea captain, testing his new recruit, "that a sudden storm springs up on your starboard side. What would you do?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," says the new sailor.
"And what would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir," the raw recruit replies.
"Now," says the captain, "a storm springs up forward of the ship. What would you do this time?"
"Throw out another anchor, Captain."
"Hold on, hold on. Where are you getting all these anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir," replied the new recruit.
He got to keep his job.
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