I told a girl on the flight that she was pretty. She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."
So I asked if she remembered the quadratic formula.
To keep her warm, a motorcyclist puts his leather jacket on his girlfriend backwards, so that the collar would cover her face. After they hit a patch of ice, there was a tragic accident. First on the scene was a farmer and his son. Soon a policeman arrives and questions the farmer.
"Well, sir, the poor guy down there in the ditch was apparently killed outright. The girl was in pretty good shape till Junior turned her head around."
The definition of "mixed feelings" is watching your mother-in-law drive your new Mercedes off a cliff.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it... it was a shih-tzu.