Latest Jokes

2 votes

Santa walks into the psychiatrist's office very upset.

"Why Santa," says the psychiatrist,"Why are you here?"

"I can't deliver the presents to the children's homes!!!" replies Santa.

"Well, what's the problem?" asks the psychiatrist.

"I don't know," says Santa, "I get very scared and anxious and just can't go down the chimney. What is it Doctor?

"Do you know what's wrong with me?" asks Santa.

"Yes," says the psychiatrist,"I know exactly what's wrong with you, Santa. You are suffering from CLAUS-trophia!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "maxx" |
0 votes

Jim Visits the Family Doctor

Doc - Ha! Hey Jim what's up this time.
Jim - This time it's a severe situation doc!
Doc - mm Keep Saying Jim...
Jim - Doc I've been that notorious clown since ever, but today I just found a site that pays for a good rated Joke and ever since then !!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Joking nerves trifle Me !!!!!!

Doc - Hahahahahahahahahahaha !!! ** Cracking

Jim - Okay! It's working now, Thanks Doc ;)

* Updates the Post ;) :D :P

0 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Venus" |
3 votes

A man and wife are about to take a trip to Sidney Australia. The man goes up to the Southwest ticket counter and he buys one ticket. The ticket sales man ask the husband, "What about your wife?"

The husband replies, "You advertise, 'All Bags Fly Free'!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "thumpingx" |
2 votes

A young man has spent five years traveling throughout the world making a documentary on native dances. He is nearing the end of his project and winds up in Australia in Alice Springs. He begins to talk to an Aborigine, who asks the researcher if he ever saw the "Butcher Dance."

"Butcher Dance? What's that?" he asks.

"What? You no see the Butcher Dance?"

"No, I've never heard of it."

Well, the Aborigine convinces the fellow that he must see the "Butcher Dance" to finish his project. Once convinced, the man gets excited about being able to experience this very famous dance. They begin their trek over the outback to a place where the Butcher Dance is observed. They follow a dirt track for 200 miles, walking for three days through creeks and valleys. It takes them another four days to get over the mountains. And all this time they, of course, are dragging their camera equipment and crew with them.

After seven long days of grueling travel, they finally reach the village of the Butcher Dance. They find the village chief and explain to him why they have travelled so far and say they are anxious to start filming this exotic dance.

Then the bad news hits them. The chief explains that the Butcher Dance Festival was the previous night. The chief adds, "Maybe you can see it the next time."

"Well, when will you hold the next dance?" the researcher asks.

"Not 'til next year."

"Couldn't you please hold it just one more time tonight so we could see it and film it for our documentary?"

"No," was the reply. "The Butcher Dance is very holy and is performed only once a year."

The man is devastated but has no other options then to wait until next year. So he decided to stay in the area and tried to make a go of it in the village, even though it is very difficult. He becomes ill, cannot find work, misses his family, but alas, he sticks it out.

A year passes and the day of reckoning comes the next festival of the Butcher Dance. The natives form a circle around a huge roaring fire. A deathly hush descends over the performers and some sort of witch doctor appears and begins the ritual. The researcher is getting caught up in the fervor of the event. Wow, he thinks, here I am, the first white man to see the famous Butcher Dance. He starts filming. The chief strides to his position in the circle and, in a big booming voice, starts to sing. He says, "You butch yer right arm in. You butch yer right arm out. You butch yer right arm in and you shake it all about!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "tlmagic" |