Latest Jokes

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all escape from prison. They hear the cops coming so they each climb a tree.

The cops come and shine flashlights in the trees.

They shine a light on the tree with the brunette and she goes "whoo whoo" like an owl.

They shine the light in the redhead's tree, she goes "Tweet Tweet" like a bird.

They shine the light on the blonde’s tree... "Moooooo".

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don't look. I'm changing.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the light bulb really has to really want to change.