Latest Jokes

An interesting exchange between two geniuses, Einstein said to Chaplin:

“What I most admire about your art…

You don’t say a word, and the rest of the world understands you.”

"It is true", answered Chaplin, "but your glory is even greater. The whole world admires you, even though they don’t understand a word of what you say!"

Rajiv and Priya are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives."

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later, Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, “Priya, did we pay our deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?”


“No, sweetheart” she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, “Priya, did we pay our ICICI Bank Mastercard yet?”

“Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,” she says.

“One last thing, Priya. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?” he asks.

“Oh, forgive me, Rajiv,” begged Priya. “I didn’t send that one, either.”

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Priya pulls away and asks him, “So, why did you hug me?”

“Rajiv answers, “They’ll find us!”

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

“Wake up, son.“

“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”

“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!”

“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!"

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant, at first he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.

“Oh, that man I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”