Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Wife: Why don't you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful,’ he said,‘ CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving."
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!".
A 92 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the Doctor saw the man walking down the street
with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later the Doctor talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
The man replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."
The Doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said, You got a heart murmur. Be careful."
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