Latest Jokes

A Preacher was giving a sermon one Sunday morning, when he noticed old man Brown sound asleep in the last pew. He asked the Congregation: "All those who want to go to Heaven, stand up!" All rose except old man Brown. After the Congregation sat down, he yelled at the top of his voice, "ALL THOSE WHO WASNT TO GO TO HELL, STAND UP!!!" Old man Brown woke up, stood up, looked around and said, "I don't know what we are voting on, Reverend, but whatever it is, we sure are in the minority!!"

An elementary school teacher decides to pole the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment:

Duh ... shouldn't that be: "poll" the class, unless she was making a point ... WITH A POINTED STICK!

If you had 11 roses in your arms and looked in the mirror;
You would see the twelve most gorgeous things in the world.

Q. What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A. A cat has its claws at the end of its paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause