Little Johnny: "My pa is very religious. He always bows his head and says a prayer before meals."
Dick: "Mine always says something when he sits down to eat. But he does not bow his head."
Little Johnny: "What does he say?"
Dick: "Go easy on the butter, its up to a dollar and half a pound."
Little Johnny: "Grandma, if I was invited out to dinner, should I eat pie with a fork?"
Grandma: "Yes, indeed, Johnny."
Little Johnny: "You haven't got a pie in the house I could practice on, have you, Grandma?"
Mel: "Well hello John Corcoran. Remember me? We met in Maine one rainy night, about six years ago at the Moose River Junction, during your sales seminar."
John: "Goodbye, sir."
Mel: "Aren't you going to try to sell me something?"
John: "No, I only sell memory courses."
Little Johnny was attending the birthday party of a classmate when the mother asked, "Little Johnny, does your mother allow you to have two pieces of cake when you are at home?"
"No, madam. "
"Well, do you think she'd like for you to have two pieces here?"
Little Johnny replied confidently, "She wouldn't care. It's not her cake."