Latest Jokes

On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."

A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.

"What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!"

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!

FORD
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research & Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. & Ron`s DNA
backwards -> Driver Returns On Foot

Ten signs you're not getting a Christmas bonus:

10. Co-workers refer to you as ''the ghost of unemployment future.''
9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial.

8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips.
7. What you call ''my new office'' everybody else calls ''the supply closet.''

6. Boss's Christmas card says, ''Don't let the door hit you on the way out.''
5. You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants.

4. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under an avalanche of stolen office supplies.
3. Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw.

2. In your most recent performance evaluation, the word ''terrible'' appeared 78 times.
1. You're the starting quarterback for the New York Jets.