Did you hear about the runner who left his math homework at the starting line?
He thought he could run away from his problems.
In the men's room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "Think!"
The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "Thoap!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing...
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She'd bump the car in front, then back-up and strike the car behind her. This went on about 2 minutes.
I walked over to see if I could somehow help. My offer was declined though. She said, "Why have bumpers if you're not going to use them once in a while?"