Best Jokes

$15.00 won 9 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

My husband made me mad today so I poured some water in front of the washer.

He’s been in there for 2 hours trying to fix the washer.

9 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.”

The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:

“Dear Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!”

“Dear Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes.”

“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was Dee-licious!

9 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $15.00
posted by "virgogal" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

I was drinking a margarita when a guy stood up and asked, "Does anyone here know CPR?"

Someone else stood up and said, "Yeah, I know the whole alphabet."

We all laughed and laughed and laughed... well, except this one guy.

9 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Laugh and Enjoy Life" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

9 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |