Best Jokes

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account?

Prime mates.

The company where I work provides four-foot-high cubicles so each employee can have some privacy.

One day a co-worker had an exasperating phone conversation with one of her teenage sons. After hanging up, she heaved a sigh and said, "No one ever listens to me."

Immediately, several voices from surrounding cubicles called out, "Yes, yes we do."

A gold-digger had died and all her worldly possessions, including a parrot, were being auctioned off.

"What am I offered for this beautiful bird?"

"One bean," bid a bystander.

"Two bucks," roared another.

"Make it five, Daddy," croaked the parrot, "and I'll give you a kiss."