A well known speaker lectured to the members of the literary society. After his address the secretary approached him with a check. This he politely refused, saying that it might be devoted to some charitable purpose.
"Would you mind if we added it to our special fund? " she ask.
"Not at all," said the speaker. "What is the special fund for?"
"To allow us to get a better speaker for next year."
During history class the teacher was discussing George Washington.
"George Washington, not only did he chopped down his cherry tree," the teacher explained, "but he also admitted to doing it. Does anyone know why his father did not punish him? "
After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny answered, "Maybe because George still had the ax in his hand?"
What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes whack and then "Darn!" while a skydiver goes “Darn!” and then whack.
Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
It was full.