"Whose car is this?"
"Mine! I just picked it up from the car dealer. You like it?"
"It's great, congratulations!"
"Thanks, but it's just a second hand one. Would you like to take it for a spin?"
"Really? You don't mind?"
"Not at all."
Five Minutes Later-
"What'd going on? I thought you were taking the car for a spin?
"Just give me a minute. I'm just trying to decide something."
"Well, you said it's a second hand car, but I just can't decide which is my first hand and which is the second?"
Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked.
"He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car," his co-worker replied.
"How was he going to do it?"
"He took an engine from a Ford, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from Caddy and, well, you get the idea."
"So what did he end up with?"
"Ten years to life."