Best Jokes

Bobbie to neighbor: “What are you getting your children for Christmas?”

Neighbor: “Well, if my husband doesn’t stop staying out until three in the morning, I’ll give them a new dad.”

Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked.

"He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car," his co-worker replied.

"How was he going to do it?"

"He took an engine from a Ford, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from Caddy and, well, you get the idea."

"So what did he end up with?"

"Ten years to life."

"You are a cheat!" roared the angry card player.

"I am not," responded the accused.

"You certainly are," insisted the first man. "I know for sure that I never dealt you that ace!"