Never, NEVER, NEVER make your girlfriend mad...
They can remember stuff that that hasn't even happened yet!
Why can a Cheetah not hide?
Because it's always spotted!
Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for Christmas?"
Me: "Her son back!"
One doctor ask another if, "Are you any good at palmistry?"
"Well, not exactly. However, the other night I did look at a lady's hand, and one glance told me she was going to be lucky," he replied.
"Why how's that?" the first doctor ask.
The reply: "Well it had four aces in it."