Best Jokes

The cowboy ordered a steak at a restaurant and it was served rare, very rare. He looked at it and ask that it be returned to the kitchen and cooked.

The chef came out to inform him that the steak was cooked.

"Cooked? You call this cooked? I've seen cows hurt worse than this and they get well."

People are so amazing... if you tell a person that there are 270,678,934,341 stars in the universe, they'll believe you.

However if you put up a sign that says "FRESH PAINT"... that same person has to make a personal investigation!

My friend: "I work at Google!"

Me: "That's great, I google at work."

The pastor who had accepted an invitation to officiate at the Sunday service in a neighboring towns church. He entrusted the Sunday service at his church to the new appointed curate. Upon his return he ask his wife what she thought of the curate's sermon.

"It was the poorest one I ever heard," was her prompt reply, "nothing in it at all."

Later in the day he saw the curate and ask how he had got along.

"Oh, very well. I didn't have time to prepare my own sermon so I used one of your unused ones."