Three politicians were in a heated discussion as to which one was the best liar. As the discussion was getting louder and louder the bartender suggested they have a liars contest. After agreeing to the rules the first says, "I have never told a lie,"
The second indicated that he was not capable of telling a lie.
The third won the prize as he assured the bartender that, "The other two had told the exact truth."
Gerald and Harold were twins that were inseparable, share and share alike and exact duplicates in everything. As they grew older they had the same hobbies, including fishing. However, when fishing Gerald never seemed to catch fish and Harold always had "fishermen's luck".
One night Gerald stole out of the house with his brother's rod and reel. He went to the exact spot where Harold had caught a dozen trout that afternoon. He fished and fished with not even a nibble.
Just as he was packing to leave a trout leaped out of the water in a perfect arch and cried out solicitously, "Your brother isn't ill I hope?"
The boys were arriving back at the fraternity house after the summer vacation.
"What have you been doing this summer?" one asks another.
"Working in my dad's office, and you?"
"Yeah, I've been loafing around and doing nothing too."