Teacher : Which is the oldest animal?
Student : The zebra.
Teacher : How come?
Student : Because it's still in black & white.
A beer is like the sun...
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist!
Don’t ever pay a surprise visit to a child in college. You might be the one getting the surprise. I learned this the hard way when I swung by my son’s campus during a business trip.
Locating what I thought was his fraternity house, I rang the doorbell. "Yeah?" a voice called from inside.
"Does Dylan Houseman live here?"
"Yup," the voice answered. "Leave him on the front porch. We’ll bring him in later."
Patient: "Doctor, can you tell me what are your fees?"
Doctor: "For the 1st visit I charge $2000 and the 2nd visit is free."
[The patient then decided to lie.]
Patient: "Doctor, this is my second visit."
Doctor: "In that case, please continue taking the medicines that I had prescribed on your first visit."