Best Jokes

Why do astronauts use Linux?

Because you can't open windows in space.

My wife is incredibly smart.

When I called her from my buddy’s phone she answered, “Hey love!”

She already knew it was me.

A young boy was looking through some old family photos and asked his mother, "Who is the guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father."

"Then who's that man who lives with us now?"

A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what “runner’s euphoria” was.

“Runner’s euphoria,” he explained, “is what I feel at 5:30 am on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”