Her: What do you do?
Me: I race cars.
Her: Do you win many races?
Me: Not really, the cars are much faster.
What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
About seven miles an hour.
A zookeeper is ordering new animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese”. That doesn’t look quite right, so he tries two mongoose, and then two mongooses.
Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one.”
There is a guy stealing iPhones around town...
At some point he’s going to face time!