Best Jokes

$9.00 won 8 votes
 

I spent five dollars for a weather app on my phone...

I got two dollars and fifteen cents back in 'climate change'.

8 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$10.00 won 8 votes
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It's the 10th anniversary of Herman Mendelbaum's death and his widow decides to make a pilgrimage to the cemetery to recite a prayer over his grave and place a small stone to show that he is remembered.

She arrives at the cemetery, but it being a while since she had been there, she is confused and cannot find poor Herman's grave site. Finally, she comes across a grounds-keeper who escorts her to a small chapel on the cemetery grounds where the records are kept.

The grounds-keeper, after pouring over large maps and lists, finally turns to the widow and says, "I can find no record of a Herman Mendelbaum buried here. The closest I can find is a Sadie Mendelbaum."

"That's him!" she exclaims. "He always put everything in my name..."

8 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Egbert" |
$25.00 won 8 votes

Due to a job transfer, Brian moved from his hometown to New York City. Being that he had a very comprehensive health history, he brought along all of his medical paperwork when it came time for his first check up with his new doctor. The doctor kept glancing at Brian as he reviewed the medical paperwork.

After browsing through the extensive medical history, the doctor stared at Brian for a few moments and said, ” Well there’s one thing I can say for certain, you sure look better in person than you do on paper!”

8 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "sravanthi" |
$15.00 won 8 votes

Teacher: "Class does anyone know what is a comet?"

Little Johnny: "A what?"

Teacher: "A comet. You know what a comet is?"

Little Johnny: "No."

Teacher: "Don't you know what they call a star with a tail?"

Little Johnny: "Oh sure. Mickey Mouse. "



8 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "barber7796" |