I spent $80 on a belt that didn't fit...
My wife said it was a huge waist.
An engaged couple was having an intense argument.
She: "If that's the kind of person you are, I'm going to break our engagement right now. My feelings towards you have changed. I don't want anything more to do with you."
He: "In that case give me my ring back!"
She: "My feelings toward you have changed. My feelings about the ring have not..."
What's the difference between a carpenter and an orthopaedic surgeon?
A carpenter knows more than one antibiotic!
My daughter wants the new iPhone for her birthday.
I told her she will if she gets good grades, does her chores and follows the house rules.
Otherwise, she will get a cheaper phone because...
It’s my way or the Huawei...