10 Christian Truths...
1. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited-until you try to sit in their pews.
2. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
3. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
4. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
5. People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
6. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
7. Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
8. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
9. If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
10. Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.
A female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her, but he was walking straight and not sideways.
Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately. The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab. She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
He answered, "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!"
A family was celebrating their daughter's fifth birthday at a local restaurant when the little girl's father noticed her looking sadly at a moose head on the wall. Someone had placed a party hat on its head. Her father knelt beside her and explained why some people hunt animals.
"I know all that," the child sobbed. "But why did they have to shoot him at his birthday party?"