Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.
My boss asked, "What companies?"
I replied, "Gas, water, and electricity."
There’s literally no way...
To know how many chameleons are in your house.
It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his father told him.
"Wouldn't you know it," Johnny fumed, "the one Sunday I don't go and He shows up!"