Best Jokes

1 votes

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out...

Good news is I can usually sedate him with three or four cupcakes.

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
1 votes

Wife: John, what becomes of a ballplayer when his eyesight starts to fail?

John: They make him an umpire.

1 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$9.00 won 1 votes

A car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. The lady driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats and appear naked to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the lady of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.

"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer.

"Well, those are my emergency flashers!" she replies.

1 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |