Best Jokes

Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor.

The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations, You're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence!" the man exclaims. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."

"Wow, what a coincidence!" he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation."

When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence!" he tells her. "I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask him what was wrong.

He moans, "I work for Seven-Eleven!"

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear !!!

Years ago when my two girls were small, they were taught how to say their blessing before eating their meal. One night as I was busy scurrying around the kitchen, I told them both to stay their blessings without me.

I took a moment to watch them as they both squeezed their eyes tightly shut over folded hands. As my 4-year-old finished, her 3-year-old sister kept on praying.

Another minute or two passed before she lifted her head, looked at her plate, and in an indignant voice said, “Hey! My peas are still here!"

A man was complaining to his friend: “I’m sick of the police telling me how to drive when they themselves are worse drivers.”

“How do you mean?” asked the friend.

“Well, just look at how many signs you see by the side of the road saying, ‘Police Accident’.”