Best Jokes

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

We got married for better or worse...

He couldn't do any better and I couldn't do any worse.

Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confronted by a policeman.

"Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?" asked the policeman.

Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said, "No, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer."

"The second followed his lead and said, "My names is William, W.H. Smith."

The third said, "My name is Ken... Ken Tuckyfriedchicken!"

A proud father never tired of telling how smart his son Arthur was.

“Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didn’t say it until he was fifty!”