Photographer to young man: "It will make a much better picture if you put your hand on your father's shoulder."
Father: "It would be much more realistic if he had his hand in my pocket."
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.
The husband responded, "On our wedding day, we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And now, after 60 years of marriage, I can truthfully say that we have never needed to make a MAJOR decision."
What Pokémon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro?
Zikachu.
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to ten dollars.